Halcitron
2003-12-12 19:06:24 UTC
California's Velcro Crop under Challenge (1993)
by Ken Umbach
California's important Velcro crop, vital to the clothing, footwear, and
sporting goods industries, has been severely stressed by drought, disease, and
pests.
Background
Velcro®, an engineered crop, consists of two distinct strains: hooks and loops.
As any user of Velcro knows, a strip of hooks clings to a strip of loops as the
springy hook-shaped fibers latch through tiny but firm loops. Gentle pressure
allows the hook strip to be pulled from the loop strip. The user may repeat the
process time and again, making this product a convenient, versatile replacement
for zippers, buttons, snaps, laces, and other forms of fastener in wide-ranging
applications.
California's climate and soil conditions make the state an ideal venue for and
successful producer of both strains of Velcro. For obvious reasons, of course,
the hook strain must be grown in fields separated from those with the loop
strain. This is often accommodated by widely spacing separate fields of the two
strains among large expanses of cotton, alfalfa, or other crops.
For competitive and industrial confidentiality reasons, of course, the crop is
not widely highlighted in crop reports. A little Velcro goes a long way, as
both strains are densely packed on their respective mature plants, and the
entire crop is dwarfed by other field crops, most notably cotton. Nonetheless,
the crop is of high value and can be a substantial profit builder for the
successful grower.
The Issues
Three issues have conspired to threaten and diminish the crop in California's
southern San Joaquin Valley, especially drought-affected Kern County.
Dry and windy conditions have caused hook and loop spores to commingle even
across widely spaced fields, resulting in tangled Velcro bolls combining both
strains and unprocessable by any known means.
Invasions of disease and pests have damaged the crop. Specifically (1) the
flaccidity virus has resulted in weakened hooks, unable to hold adequately or
even to snap through the corresponding loops, and (2) the pest millipedus
minisculus, or 'tiny thousand-footed creature', has multiplied in the Velcro
fields, frequently becoming so ensnared in the developing loops as to make the
crop unharvestable.
Drought has both limited water for the westside Velcro fields and exacerbated
crop-stunting salinity.
Crop management for Velcro is made especially difficult by the need to outfit
field workers head-to-toe in Teflon® jumpsuits. (The Teflon crop is another
issue, to be tackled in a future report in this series.) Absent such
protection, field workers are in danger of becoming enmeshed in the Velcro
bolls while working the fields. Clothing and even body hair may become
entangled with the hooks or loops, requiring difficult extraction procedures.
The Teflon jumpsuits in turn require personal cooling equipment and expensive
maintenance. When available, it is preferable to hire a crew composed entirely
of professional body builders, who are both strong and hairless from head to
toe.
All in all, cultivation is a demanding and costly process, making profit
margins unusually vulnerable to price swings and crop productivity losses.
Status
As the chart and table below so starkly show, the combined assaults on the
Velcro crop have had marked effects.
See chart at: http://home.inreach.com/kumbach/velcro.html
Recommendations
In view of the singular nature of this specialized crop and its high
contribution, when successful, to the financial well-being of the farmers who
have the tenacity to grow it:
The respective agricultural commissioners and extension personnel should
emphasize proper spacing requirements for fields of the hook and loop strains.
Research, training, and inspection are all necessary.
Responsible officials should redouble efforts to eradicate flaccidity virus and
millipedus minisculus.
Water officials should accommodate the special needs of this high value crop in
determining allocations, especially in years of water shortage.
By these means, it should be possible to restore the vigor, productivity, and
profitability of this specialized but significant crop.
Postscript (December 1996). The return of relatively normal rainfall patterns,
together with sunspot conditions that have decimated flaccidity virus and
millipedus minisculus, have contributed to a strengthened Velcro crop, but no
one knows what the future might bring. Consider investing in zippers and
buttons.
END
This reminds me of the 1957 Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
"The spaghetti harvest here in Switzerland is not, of course, carried out on
anything like the tremendous scale of the Italian industry," Dimbleby informed
the audience. "Many of you, I'm sure," he continued, "will have seen pictures
of the vast spaghetti plantations in the Po valley. For the Swiss, however, it
tends to be more of a family affair."
"Another reason why this may be a bumper year lies in the virtual disappearance
of the spaghetti weevil, the tiny creature whose depradations have caused much
concern in the past."
The narrator anticipated some questions viewers might have. For instance, why,
if spaghetti grows on trees, does it always come in uniform lengths? The answer
was that "this is the result of many years of patient endeavor by past breeders
who succeeded in producing the perfect spaghetti."
And apparently the life of a spaghetti farmer was not free of worries: "The
last two weeks of March are an anxious time for the spaghetti farmer. There's
always the chance of a late frost which, while not entirely ruining the crop,
generally impairs the flavor and makes it difficult for him to obtain top
prices in world markets."
But finally, the narrator assured the audience, "For those who love this dish,
there's nothing like real, home-grown spaghetti."
"If you want your own spaghetti tree, you should place a sprig of spaghetti in
a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."
http://home.inreach.com/kumbach/velcro.html
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/spaghetti.html
:)
caveat lector
Halcitron misc.survivalism
Check your six and know when to duck.
NRA Member since 2002
The Law of the Land, is the weapon in your hand.
Smith & Wesson starts where the Bill of Rights stop.
by Ken Umbach
California's important Velcro crop, vital to the clothing, footwear, and
sporting goods industries, has been severely stressed by drought, disease, and
pests.
Background
Velcro®, an engineered crop, consists of two distinct strains: hooks and loops.
As any user of Velcro knows, a strip of hooks clings to a strip of loops as the
springy hook-shaped fibers latch through tiny but firm loops. Gentle pressure
allows the hook strip to be pulled from the loop strip. The user may repeat the
process time and again, making this product a convenient, versatile replacement
for zippers, buttons, snaps, laces, and other forms of fastener in wide-ranging
applications.
California's climate and soil conditions make the state an ideal venue for and
successful producer of both strains of Velcro. For obvious reasons, of course,
the hook strain must be grown in fields separated from those with the loop
strain. This is often accommodated by widely spacing separate fields of the two
strains among large expanses of cotton, alfalfa, or other crops.
For competitive and industrial confidentiality reasons, of course, the crop is
not widely highlighted in crop reports. A little Velcro goes a long way, as
both strains are densely packed on their respective mature plants, and the
entire crop is dwarfed by other field crops, most notably cotton. Nonetheless,
the crop is of high value and can be a substantial profit builder for the
successful grower.
The Issues
Three issues have conspired to threaten and diminish the crop in California's
southern San Joaquin Valley, especially drought-affected Kern County.
Dry and windy conditions have caused hook and loop spores to commingle even
across widely spaced fields, resulting in tangled Velcro bolls combining both
strains and unprocessable by any known means.
Invasions of disease and pests have damaged the crop. Specifically (1) the
flaccidity virus has resulted in weakened hooks, unable to hold adequately or
even to snap through the corresponding loops, and (2) the pest millipedus
minisculus, or 'tiny thousand-footed creature', has multiplied in the Velcro
fields, frequently becoming so ensnared in the developing loops as to make the
crop unharvestable.
Drought has both limited water for the westside Velcro fields and exacerbated
crop-stunting salinity.
Crop management for Velcro is made especially difficult by the need to outfit
field workers head-to-toe in Teflon® jumpsuits. (The Teflon crop is another
issue, to be tackled in a future report in this series.) Absent such
protection, field workers are in danger of becoming enmeshed in the Velcro
bolls while working the fields. Clothing and even body hair may become
entangled with the hooks or loops, requiring difficult extraction procedures.
The Teflon jumpsuits in turn require personal cooling equipment and expensive
maintenance. When available, it is preferable to hire a crew composed entirely
of professional body builders, who are both strong and hairless from head to
toe.
All in all, cultivation is a demanding and costly process, making profit
margins unusually vulnerable to price swings and crop productivity losses.
Status
As the chart and table below so starkly show, the combined assaults on the
Velcro crop have had marked effects.
See chart at: http://home.inreach.com/kumbach/velcro.html
Recommendations
In view of the singular nature of this specialized crop and its high
contribution, when successful, to the financial well-being of the farmers who
have the tenacity to grow it:
The respective agricultural commissioners and extension personnel should
emphasize proper spacing requirements for fields of the hook and loop strains.
Research, training, and inspection are all necessary.
Responsible officials should redouble efforts to eradicate flaccidity virus and
millipedus minisculus.
Water officials should accommodate the special needs of this high value crop in
determining allocations, especially in years of water shortage.
By these means, it should be possible to restore the vigor, productivity, and
profitability of this specialized but significant crop.
Postscript (December 1996). The return of relatively normal rainfall patterns,
together with sunspot conditions that have decimated flaccidity virus and
millipedus minisculus, have contributed to a strengthened Velcro crop, but no
one knows what the future might bring. Consider investing in zippers and
buttons.
END
This reminds me of the 1957 Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
"The spaghetti harvest here in Switzerland is not, of course, carried out on
anything like the tremendous scale of the Italian industry," Dimbleby informed
the audience. "Many of you, I'm sure," he continued, "will have seen pictures
of the vast spaghetti plantations in the Po valley. For the Swiss, however, it
tends to be more of a family affair."
"Another reason why this may be a bumper year lies in the virtual disappearance
of the spaghetti weevil, the tiny creature whose depradations have caused much
concern in the past."
The narrator anticipated some questions viewers might have. For instance, why,
if spaghetti grows on trees, does it always come in uniform lengths? The answer
was that "this is the result of many years of patient endeavor by past breeders
who succeeded in producing the perfect spaghetti."
And apparently the life of a spaghetti farmer was not free of worries: "The
last two weeks of March are an anxious time for the spaghetti farmer. There's
always the chance of a late frost which, while not entirely ruining the crop,
generally impairs the flavor and makes it difficult for him to obtain top
prices in world markets."
But finally, the narrator assured the audience, "For those who love this dish,
there's nothing like real, home-grown spaghetti."
"If you want your own spaghetti tree, you should place a sprig of spaghetti in
a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."
http://home.inreach.com/kumbach/velcro.html
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/spaghetti.html
:)
caveat lector
Halcitron misc.survivalism
Check your six and know when to duck.
NRA Member since 2002
The Law of the Land, is the weapon in your hand.
Smith & Wesson starts where the Bill of Rights stop.